Coach McGuirk: Lynch? Lynch is about as qualified to run a school as this soda can, and I can say that because I’m his best friend.
Brendon: I didn’t know you and Lynch were best friends, coach.
Coach McGuirk: Well we’re not. I’m his best friend, but he’s not mine.
Melissa: Who’s your best friend?
Coach McGuirk: Right now, it’s a tie, between this guy I write to on the web, he’s from Sri Lanka, he’s nice, and this guy who hangs out at the bar I go to, who is gonna supposedly get me a free battery for my car.
S4E01 Everyone’s Entitled to My Opinion

